Updated: Jul 16, 2019
Misfit - "a person who does not fit well with others".
A simply put definition stating a person's placement without delving into and unveiling the opaque makings of a misfit.
What does being dubbed a misfit consist of?
How many checked boxes solidify a person's placement outside that of a crowd?
Why is not being part of the crowd shunned upon?
Why has fitting in with others been something I longed for most of my life?
Acceptance is assuring — it affirms one's visibility, existential acknowledgement and worthiness.
We are constantly seeking oneness with others as belonging connotes that our existence transcends our individuality.What happens when acceptance is not afforded to us?
When we find ourselves prohibited from being part of the crowd?
When our individuality does not qualify us to be one with others?
I am a misfit and for most of my life this meant that there was something wrong with me. When others would, with ease fit in with others my individuality never befit any crowd — dark skinned with a face engraved with tribal marks I was never worthy of oneness.
When 'collective' is exclusive of you, your individuality is not only shunned upon but becomes a direct reflection of lack.
Continual rejection screamed, you are not enough! you are not good enough! you are not worthy!
These words, initially not your own are embedded into your thought process and become mantras repetitively and unconsciously chanted throughout your life.
Most of my failures stem(med) from believing that I am not enough, I am not good enough, I am not worthy.
These thoughts are however not as loud anymore, their presence is mostly occasional, dormant and not as debilitating.
I am a misfit, I don't fit well with others and this does not equate to lack nor is it a measure of my worth.
Words by Fisiwe Zondi