How to break a pattern? Respond differently

Patterns. Sigh. They're everywhere. From our familiar painful morning routines to our inevitable post-lunch energy slumps, our lives are stitched together by these well-worn grooves that seem to govern our existence. But have you ever imagined what would happen were we to break free from these loops and respond differently? 

Breaking patterns is about shifting the dynamic and injecting a dose of newness into a situation that has become stale and predictable.

How many times have you found yourself stuck in a never-ending cycle, whether it's a repetitive argument with your partner, falling for the same type of person, or getting stressed out over the same old work-related issues? Breaking these patterns can feel like trying to escape a vortex, but when you do, it is incredibly liberating!

So, how do we break freeeeeeee?

  1. Awareness is Key: The first step in breaking any pattern is recognizing it. It's like trying to find your way out of a maze – you need to know where you are before you can plot your escape. Take a step back and observe your behavior. When do you fall into the same old routine? What triggers it? Identifying these patterns is like shining a light on the path to change.

  2. Question Your Actions: Once you've identified the patterns, it's time to ask yourself the million-dollar question: "Is this working for me?" If you find that your repetitive responses aren't leading to the outcomes you desire, it's time to consider an alternative approach.

  3. Embrace Curiosity: Responding differently often requires a healthy dose of curiosity. What would happen if you did the opposite of what you usually do? What if you approached the situation from a completely different angle? By embracing curiosity, you open the door to new possibilities.

  4. Experiment and Iterate: Breaking patterns isn't a one-and-done deal. It's an ongoing process of experimentation. Try out new responses, and don't be discouraged if things don't change overnight. Remember, it took a while for those patterns to become ingrained, so give yourself the time and patience to evolve.

  5. Seek Support: Breaking patterns can be challenging, especially when you're trying to do it on your own. Don't hesitate to lean on friends, family, or even a therapist for support. They can offer fresh perspectives and help hold you accountable.

Real Life TGLM Examples & Solutions

Say you're a self proclaimed “procrastination girlie” and you always leave tasks until the last minute, causing yourself unnecessary stress. To respond differently, you might start by setting small, manageable goals for yourself, creating a daily schedule, and rewarding yourself for completing tasks early. These different responses can gradually replace the old habit of procrastination.

Patterns aren't just limited to our interactions with others or our daily routines. They can also sneak into the way we react to stress and adversity. Think about the last time you faced a setback—a project at work fell apart, or your carefully crafted weekend plans got f’ed up. How did you respond?

If your default reaction is to wallow in self-pity or unleash a torrent of complaints, girl, it's time for a change. Try responding differently by embracing a growth mindset. Instead of viewing setbacks as insurmountable obstacles, see them as opportunities for growth and learning. By reframing your response in this way, you not only break the pattern of negativity but also empower yourself to overcome challenges with resilience and grace.

Breaking patterns and responding differently is an ongoing journey, not a one-time event. It requires self-awareness, mindfulness, and a willingness to embrace change. But the rewards are immense. You'll discover new depths within yourself, cultivate healthier relationships, and approach life with a sense of curiosity and wonder.

Best of luck bbs!

Joan Caven

Joan Caven is the co-founder of TGLM Media.

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